Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize