fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Success! We fucked roommates!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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