walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
