So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
