Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
