shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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