I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
