im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
we're so committed to being not committed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
