Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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