I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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