So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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