On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
