Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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