The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
