If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize