I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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