My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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