So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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