Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
