***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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