she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
