Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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