It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
