Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
