WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
