yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
