you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
