I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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