Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
