Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
