If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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