Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
