If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
