id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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