Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize