For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
