I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
