Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
