its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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