I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize