he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
