fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
