I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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