i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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