Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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