she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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