somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
