Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
