break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
