dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
