try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Randomize