He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
