My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
