Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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