I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize