remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You're a waste of cheezeits
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize